My story so far (part 3)

Before I get started with story time, I wanted to apologize for not posting sooner. I have been swamped with work and I just haven’t figured out how to keep up. Between beta reading the sequel to a colleague’s book, translating my debut book from English to Spanish, and writing the second volume to my debut book… it’s a lot of work for just one person.

Anyway, story time. So after nearly dying as a teen, I swallowed my feelings and kept quiet. I missed out on several opportunities because of it. I didn’t realize that a friend was crushing on me hard (she’s pretty cute). This pissed her off and we haven’t spoken since. I didn’t hang out with my friends, making a strange and silent drift between us. I started to feel like a complete loser. I focused on my grades and worked like a machine. This was and is my fault, I know this now but hindsight is twenty twenty. That summer I felt like I was breaking down. The pressure building in my chest was unbearable.

That’s when I unknowingly started my career. On a Sunday afternoon I made a random plot for my G.I. Joes. I really liked the initial concept and I kept expanding on it. But it took me a long while. And that’s a story worth of its separate post.

I slowly unraveled the darkness inside me and put it on digital paper. I was headed towards a career in comic book illustration until my condition worsened to the point of being unable to draw or write using a pencil or pen. I went through all the stages of grief. So there I was, accepted into the art school of my dreams and unable to attend. Like a boomerang, the darkness I was getting good at extinguishing, it came right back. I spent my 21st year in a state of numb silence until acceptance set in.

That’s when I began to solely focus on rebuilding myself and carving a new path for myself. I began to write more often but I still relied on golden moments of inspiration to write. They were few and far between. Along that time I was hospitalized several times and I won’t bore you with most of them. I lost a total of 53 pounds and I felt great. For the first time in my life I actually felt handsome. I’ve never considered myself as handsome or cute or even good looking. I’ve always felt average looking but I felt so good that I really liked how I looked. That lasted until 2018.

That’s when everything turned upside down. I’ll tell you next time. Until then.